Dealing with Grief this Holiday Season

Memory Box

Dealing with loss and grief can put us on a journey that often we are not ready to take. With the holidays just around the corner that is another layer of stress added to an already stressful experience. Below are some tips that might help you navigate the holiday season. Please remember that the grief journey is not the same for everyone—so how someone grieves and what works for them may look different. It’s important to find what works best for you.

·         Realize that your holiday traditions may be different this year (and that is okay!). Look at your traditions: decide what traditions to keep, what ones to modify, and what ones to eliminate. Often, families also make new traditions.

·         Create a tradition in honor of your loved one. There are many options such as: Have a memory stocking or box. Notes and memories can be written to your loved one and placed inside. Save a seat at the table for your loved one. If that is difficult, invite someone new to fill the empty chair or remove the chair completely. Light a candle in honor of your loved one. Have a moment of silence. Donate to a needy family in honor of your loved one. The possibilities are endless. Feel free to be creative.

·         Be kind to yourself. The grief journey can be challenging so be patient. Allow yourself time to breathe if you need it or do something nice for yourself. It is also okay to cut back for the holidays and just do the essentials. Don’t worry about perfection.

·         Find coping skills and supports for the days that are difficult. Coping skills might be writing in a journal, going for a walk, exercising, drawing, or reading a book. Coping skills are different for everyone so find something you enjoy and use it when you need a distraction. Also remember it is okay to have emotions and show them: Crying, being angry, or sad are all okay.

·         Find people who you trust and can turn to for support. It is okay to ask for help and accept it when it is offered. If no one offers- ask for help. Often people do not know what to say or how to help. Tell people what you need. Help can come from a family member, friend, counselor, or even a pet (they make great listeners).

Know that you are not alone, and Hospice of the North Country is here to help you navigate the road you are traveling. Hospice offers bereavement counseling to anyone in the community (your loved one did not need to be under Hospice care). If you or someone you know is having a difficult time, needs support, or wants to discuss more options to help, please call Hospice. 518-483-3200

Nicole LaClair, Bereavement Counselor/LMSW.